Daily Post – Imitation/Flattery(?) of Opinionated Man

The Daily Post’s writing prompt today is: Write a post about anything you’d like — in the style of your favorite blogger. (Be sure to link to them!) You can find it here: “Imitation/Flattery.”

I can think of no one I’d rather imitate than Opinionated Man at HarsH ReaLiTy. Here’s his latest post (at the point of this writing – but not likely by the time you read this) http://aopinionatedman.com/2015/03/05/10-things-i-hate-to-hear

10 THINGS I HATE IN GENERAL

1. The fact that the word “general” in my title has a little red squiggly line below it indicating that I spelled it wrong. What the fuck’s up with that? Am I missing something?
2. People (not mentioning any names) who leave the bag of milk empty in the fridge. When I want my coffee, I want it now and I want it right damnit!
3. Snow!
4. The damned snow plow! I swear there’s someone sitting in a car down the street with a walkie-talkie waiting until I finish shoveling and get my boots off so they can fill my driveway back in.
5. People who won’t take their turn at a four-way stop sign. Especially the ones that wave you on, even though they’ve been sitting there for ten minutes already and then as soon as you start to move, they do too.
6. People who don’t say thank you when I hold the door open for them. That’s just rude.
7. The fact that all the stuff I want to eat has all the calories and the stuff I don’t barely has any. Why can’t lima beans take all the calories away from, say, chocolate? I’d stay away from lima beans in a heartbeat.
8. Bar owners who indiscriminately fire me from managerial positions when all I did was hire a blind violinist and a deaf piano player. Just because they can’t see/hear what the other is playing…
9. Men who leave the toilet seat up. What are you trying to do, drown us ladies?
10. Shop owners who place pre-printed signs with “8”s in them upside down. Don’t you see that one circle is bigger than than the other? The big one goes at the bottom. Fix that shit!

Now I’m going to sit in a corner and wait for well… the harsh reality that’s Jason.
*waves and then cringes*