If Weight was like Stats

There’s something supremely satisfying about watching stats rise on the Internet. Whether it’s followers and views on a blog, Facebook, stuff on Twitter … it’s all kinda neat. Now if only I could translate that somehow to work for weightloss.

Anyone wanna click on my scales?

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My Third Blogaversary!

Well how’s this for a coincidence? I show up here for the first time in ages, and it just happens to be my WordPress anniversary.

Cool beans!

Hopefully I’ll be around a little more, since I’m (me, Izzy) about to become a published author. You’ll find me in this free (YES, FREE!!) book of short stories on March 17th, 2018!

Here’s to SHAMROCKS, SHILLELAGHS & SHENANIGANS. Sláinte!

It’s My First Blogaversary!

Isabella Morgan has officially been alive for one year. Funny, I don’t feel a day less than 25.

I think about updating this blog every so often, but strangely I can never think of a thing to say when I get here. I intend to hang on to it though. Never know when I’m going to want to lash out over something that I can’t express, using my real name.

Anyhoo, I’m not saying anything here either, other than that I’m amazed it’s been a year. Maybe I should make a resolution to come back here every so often and post what I’m really thinking. Which is usually along the lines of, WHAT THE FUCK?

Happy Blogaversary to me!

G is for General-Rated Movies with Adult-Oriented Content

Ah, going to the movies with the kids. You take a mortgage out on the house to pay for the tickets and the popcorn just to sit down and watch a film that you figure is going to feel only slightly better than stabbing yourself in the temple with a fork. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it? The filmmakers fortunately understand this. They know that if they don’t put at least something in a children’s movie for us adults to appreciate, we’d never take our kids to watch them.

And so in some cases you can find brilliant humour. Disney and Pixar have it down to a science, as well as Dreamworks with the Shrek series. I mean seriously, how can you not laugh at this?

What are some of your favourite “adult” moments in movies made for kids?

 

A – Z April Challenge – It’s A Theme!

I can blame my post of yesterday (Perverts and Weirdos) for helping me decide on a theme for A-Z April 2015. When I signed up I went with the “Adult Content” classification just in case. I didn’t want to be blacklisted. Turns out it was a good idea.

My theme for this year’s A-Z will be, basically, adult content in fiction. This will include posts about writing sex scenes, reading sex scenes, writing about the objectionable things that characters do and say and what makes us hate certain characters for their actions. I’d also like to touch on the controversies surrounding ratings; what is appropriate for certain audiences, trigger warnings etc.

There are so many uncharted waters for today’s writers in these regards. Don’t get me wrong – I’m no expert. I hope that whatever research I do in order to write accurate articles for this A-Z April Challenge will teach me a thing or two as well. Aside from learning things I’ll be including a good deal of my own opinions.

This should be fun! I hope you’ll join me!

Daily Post – Food Bites

The Daily Post asks us to write about ” Food for the Soul (and the Stomach)”.

I have a love/hate relationship with food. I love it, it hates me. Or so it seems. Conditioned from an early age that it’s of the utmost importance to have an eighteen inch waist (thanks Mom) I’ve been struggling with my waistline since I was a teenager. I would eat all the time if I could. But I can’t. My low metabolism doesn’t do me any favours either. As far as I’m concerned, food bites.

Nah, food for my soul is language. Words. They float through my mind, calorie free and I breathe them back out onto the page. Yes, okay, sometimes they resemble vomit more than the whisper of a breath, but that’s what polishing is for, right?

Tell us about your favorite meal, either to eat or to prepare. Does it just taste great, or does it have other associations? – the daily post

Though I’m also very fond of Japanese, my favourite meal is English. British English, in particular. (You may notice my spelling of the word “favourite.”) I like to prepare it in the form of fiction; the longer it takes to make, the better. For me there’s nothing better than the smorgasbord of a novel, laid out on a vast table of white and just waiting to be devoured. In one sitting, if it’s delicious enough. I strive to be a master chef, though there are a few masters to whose work I shall never live up.

Words satisfy my hunger for knowledge and for passion; they fill the tastebuds of my emotions with joy.

Oh, and wine is good too.

Daily Post – The Humble Award

The Daily Prompt today is:
You are receiving an award –- either one that already exists, or a new one created just for you. What would the award be, why are you being honored, and what would you say in your acceptance speech?

*steps up to the podium*
While I’d like to thank all of the people individually who nominated me for the Humble Award, I don’t want to take up your time.

Thank you all for my nothing. It’s more than I deserve.
*steps down to minimal applause*

Daily Prompt: Just for Confidential Giggles

Are you good at what you do? What would you like to be better at?

I had to think about what it is I do. For the purposes of this pseudonymous blog I don’t want to get into what my “job” is–in fact I don’t really have one as such. Yes, I take care of my family blah blah blah… noble work, worthwhile and all that, but what do I do? What’s the core of what I do?

I survive. On limited resources which include (or not) money, energy, focus, stress-induced adrenaline, and laughter. I think it’s that last one that’s key to my survival. Just yesterday I said to someone that if I didn’t laugh I’d cry, so why not laugh?

It’s not survival of the fittest – the fittest I’m not. It’s survival of the funniest. And yeah, most of the time I’m damned good at it. Would I like to be better? Hand me that red rubber ball for my nose and I’ll let you know.

Find the Daily Post here.

Daily Post – The Empty Time Capsule

How did past generations survive without internal combustion engines? Without phones, television or the internet? When I contemplate centuries of “ago” what fascinates me most is the lack of things we now take for granted and don’t believe our lives could exist were they not here.

And it’s true…

A time capsule of “now” would, for me, have to be made up of the things we don’t have.

A cure for cancer.

A means of transportation that doesn’t require pollution of any sort.

A way to levitate ourselves – every one of us – in the event of natural disasters, so no one would have to die in earthquakes, storms or tsunamis.

You get the picture: stuff we can’t live without.

Today’s prompt is: What would you put in this year’s time capsule to channel the essence of our current moment for future generations?

Find the Daily Post Prompt here.

Good help is hard to find

I’m in the grocery store this afternoon waiting in line and the cashier, a young guy in his early twenties, keeps making mistakes. I hear him over and over blaming his ineptness on distractions. Too many distractions all over the place.

So my turn comes and I do everything in my power to stay quiet and not do anything to take his focus off his task. I’m practically invisible and so is everyone else. It was like we were all holding our collective breath, making sure the guy doesn’t screw up. And then…

You know those little plastic dividers they you can put between your order and the next guy’s on the conveyor belt? I watched the cashier come to the end of my order, pick up and move the divider, and start ringing the next customer’s order up with mine.

Whatever distractions that cashier has, they’re all in his noggin.